Day 11: Father's Day ...

(My grandfather and me. Judging by my sweet outfit, circa 1985.)

In my experience, Father's Day is one holiday that has the tendency to be forgotten. It falls at the beginning of summer, it's a Sunday, and my dad and grandfather are the last people to clamor for attention. This year, though, Father's Day has a more profound significance. I think 2008 was the year I finally started appreciating my dad and his idiosyncratic self.

You must understand, my dad, my grandfather, and I are different on just about every level. They're fairly conservative, I'm fairly liberal. They're reserved reserved, I'm outspoken. They're kind of hermits, I'm pretty gregarious. Our personalities are decidedly different and that was a barrier between us for much of my adolescence. During that time, as much as I respected him intellectually, I saw my father as a bit of a bore. To relate, you must also understand that my dad has an addictive personality (not unlike myself) and loves nothing more than to talk about his latest obsession. When he does rope you into a rare conversation, you might as well grab a seat and some popcorn, because it's going to be a while. So, as I got older, these conversations were met with yawns and eye-rolling. The Maya again, dad? Give me a break. When I was a teenager, my dad wore me down and I could no longer endure these interactions. I was a selfish little brat.

However, during these past few years, the gaps between us have closed. Don't get me wrong, we're as philosophically polar as we ever have been, but I have a newfound appreciation for his spirit and his compassion. In fact, I'm coming to realize that, if it weren't for our dogmatic and lifestyle differences, we're much more alike than I ever expected. Like my father, I have an insatiable curiosity for discovering new things and I think I can thank him for that. And, like my father, I have a tiresome tendency to want to share my discoveries. I think I can recognize the glaze in people's eyes after a while a bit better than he can, but I'm still convinced that people want or need to hear what I have to say. Conversely, we are both able to acknowledge that, truly, we don't know much at all and expect the same engagement from others. It's a combination of enthusiasm, curiosity, and humility that I might not have without his example.

So, this year, Father's Day won't be forgotten. He has given me so much in 25+ years that it would be futile to think I could ever repay him with gifts. And I know he wouldn't want me to. He has never been anything but supportive of me, despite our colossal differences, and has asked for little in return. In 2008, my dad (and my grandfather, posthumously) won't receive anything more than a card. But, I know when he reads it, he'll be happy to know that a donation through Oxfam Unwrapped will help foster the curiosity he longs to instill in others in the form of a school chair and desk. The gift is symbolic of the impact of my donation, but between my dad and I, it means a lot more.

If you can't think of anything to give your dad for Father's Day, join me in support Oxfam and its mission to find solutions to poverty and injustice through sustainable projects. It's a lot better than another tie.

Visit Oxfam Unwrapped this Sunday and change the life of someone in need.

BJB

Homework: India slams US for blaming it for global food crisis.